Goodies 4 Grunts

Posted: 10/08/2010 in Uncategorized

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Our ROTC Company is collecting items for the “Goodies 4 Grunts” campaign. We gather a bunch of stuff, donate it, and it gets sent to our troops overseas for the holidays. In order to motivate us to get donations, the staff has turned it into a contest to see which squad can donate the most. Therefore, if you want to mail me some stuff to donate, it would be greatly appreciated. Here’s the list:

Cocoa Mix
Drink mixes (all flavors, individual packets)
Nuts (Preferable in individual packets)
Ramen Noodles
Individual Tuna
Chicken Lunch packs
Beef Jerky (all flavors)
Granola Bars
Power Bars
Canned Goods
Meats (No Pork products)
Soap (bar and body wash)
Shave Cream (Gel)
Razor Blades
Tooth Brushes
Tooth Paste (small tubes)
Baby Wipes
Eye Wash
Aspirin, Motrin, Tylenol (Generics Okay)
Socks (White, 8 to 13 boot height)
Boxer Briefs (Medium and Large)
Work Gloves
Shower Shoes (flip-flops)
Sun Screen
Bug Repellant
Panty Liners
Emery Boards
Recent DVD Movies (do not have to be new)
Music CD’s (All genres)
Board Games
Batteries (AA, A, C, D)

Anything I receive will be donated for 1st Squad, 2nd Platoon. We’re required to have everything in NLT Oct. 18. Contact me via comment or on my Facebook page (!/pages/Zero-Week-Alex-Axfords-ROTCCollege-Page/149009165128742) and I’ll give you an address. If you have unwanted or duplicate CDs or DVDs, those are especially good!




Posted: 10/04/2010 in Uncategorized

I’d tell you stuff – but I need to do physics homework instead.

MA241 – Jason Jacobs

Posted: 10/03/2010 in Uncategorized

Best. Class. Ever.

Here are some random selections from our homework and associated papers:

“Your efforts @ UNDERSTANDING these topics will possibly cause excessive smiling during your upcoming exam.”

“…keep accurate record of your own grade (please also see the “Semester Long Assignment” below which should hopefuuly serve as a very good teplate for keeping track of your scores). I too will be keeping a record of your grades on a very large roll of Brawny Paper Towels.”

“In any event, there must be a staple holding your pages together in the correct order (if there is not…my dog will eat your homework).”

” In any event, there must be a staple holding your well organized papers together (if there is not…i might soak your HW in hot glue)”

“In any event, there must be a staple holding your well organized papers together (if there is not…you may suffer burnination.)”

“Like college students, professors also have many chores to accomplish (and Nintendos to play) during the semester.”

“There is a significant relation between students’ grades and their class attendance (Can you guess the relationship?).”

“Math is a foreign language! I will do my best to help all of you learn how to speak & write it. Hopefully, we can have some fun along the way. If December shows up & you’re bored to tears, maybe we can get some ice cream.”

“Please DO NOT submit a paper unless you understand everything you’ve written down. Indeed, your efforts @ UNDERSTANDING these topics prevent your professor from crying
himself to sleep.”

And the best of all…

“Problem 7: The original Mario Brothers game contains eight worlds of action. This past weekend, I played a game of Mario in which I started in World 1 and finished in World 8 (See an accurate graph of my game below). I did not, however, pass thru World 6!!! Explain why this is not a violation of the Intermediate Value Theorem.”

See why I love this class so much?

“…but not until halfway through morning PT.”

Yes, I’ve skipped many “Tomorrows”. I apologize, but I had a lot to do (like this new thing called “Homework”). So here’s my last week.

So I am now a published author, sort of. I wrote an editorial for the Horizons Newspaper, and it was published. You can read it, as well as the rest of the paper, here:

On Sunday, I went to Olive Garden with 3 Other ROTC people, two Army, one AF. We had a great time, then went to see Inception.

If you are reading this, drop whatever you’re doing and go see Inception. Twice. It’s the best new movie that’s come out since the first Narnia. I’m going to see it again this weekend.

PT on Monday sucked, mainly because I drank a Monster and ate cookies at midnight the night before. Not cool to do PT in.

Tuesday we had our Robotics Competition for EGR 101. We failed epically, running over one other robot and rarely completing the objective (get golf balls into a hole). Videos to be posted soon.

Wednesday morning, it was off to Pioneer Park for Run Route Orange (5.2 miles). I came really close to blacking out several times, and had to fall out a couple of times, but I ended up finishing only about 20 seconds behind the rest of Charlie. I need to run more. I felt really bad the rest of the morning, but got over it by the end of Physics class.

That afternoon, we did Battle Drill 1-A for Lead Lab. That’s the most fun I’ve had in a LOOOONG time! Basically, it was a “react to contact” drill, where Alpha team provided suppressive fire, and Bravo team flanked the enemy. This is real! This kind of stuff is what makes ROTC so fun. 🙂

Yesterday was undoubtedly my most interesting day this week. First, I walk into Economics class late, and the professor is handing out tests. I ask the guy next to me what’s happening, and get this reply:

“Midterms, dude.”


I didn’t study or anything. I THINK I did well (the classes were really comprehensive), but we’ll see.

I had to go to Career Expo during my lunch break for UNIV 101 class, and managed to get down there for about 15m. I really wish I had stayed longer, because for all the tedious classes we had to go through ABOUT Career Expo, it was kinda awesome. I did get a sweet pin from the CIA, though! 🙂

After class, I went to the first “Helicopter Club” meeting. I’ve always been kind of in the dark about what exactly the Helicopter Club did, but I found out yesterday that they are exactly what they sound like: A bunch of people who like helicopters and do helicopter stuff. This afternoon and tomorrow, I’m helping with “flight line” marshaling for the MD Helicopters MD-902 that’s coming to campus. For all of you who don’t know, that’s a super high-tech NOTAR (NO TAil Rotor) helicopter.

Next, the swordfighting club meeting. For the fencers reading this, imagine epee crossed with sabre crossed with theatrical – AKA beating the hell out of each other with bamboo shinais. I won 14 matches, lost 4.

I decided to do laundry at about 10 PM, because my PTs were smelly. Well… I forgot to put my PTs IN. FAIL!!!

This morning, I woke up, dragged myself down to PT – only to find that, instead of the usual push-ups, sit-ups, run, we were playing “Army Ball”.

Imagine touch football. Now add the following elements:
– 60 players
– No running with the ball
– No tagging
– 2 balls
And that’s Army Ball. It was described by one of the cadets as “clusterfuck football”. We all decided it was good.

And here I am.

Quote time!

“I have no idea what’s going on with the little man who turns on the light in this particular refrigerator.”

“If you’re pants are on fire, something’s not right.”

“And this is how most math books read, which is why we put them in a bin and light them on fire to keep warm.”

“Hey, f(0), please stop being equal to 7 and kindly start being equal to 42!”

“When I say ‘Shift Fire!’, you shift your fire… not towards me.”

“So if you took the derivative of that graph, you could calculate the velocity at which our grades go down?”

“Could I use this equation to find YOUR gravitational pull?
“If I was a sphere, yes.”

“Would you like to support breast cancer – ”
“I don’t like breast cancer.”

“When do you accept defeat?”
*All in unison* “NEVER!”
*Mumble* “Only on Tuesdays.”

*All in unison* “I will always place the mission first! I will never accept defeat! I will never quit! I will never leave a fallen comrade! HOOAH!”
*Mumble* “Except for Johnson.”

“I’m GLAD you’re in a class where you’re going to HAVE to become culturally aware!”

P.S. We found this in Honors class – interesting…

“This is a message from Muhammad ibn Abdullah, as a covenant to those who adopt Christianity, near and far, we are with them.
“Verily I, the servants, the helpers, and my followers defend them, because Christians are my citizens; and by Allah! I hold out against anything that displeases them. No compulsion is to be on them. Neither are their judges to be removed from their jobs nor their monks from their monasteries. No one is to destroy a house of their religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims’ houses. Should anyone take any of these, he would spoil God’s covenant and disobey His Prophet. Verily, they are my allies and have my secure charter against all that they hate. No one is to force them to travel or to oblige them to fight. The Muslims are to fight for them. If a female Christian is married to a Muslim, it is not to take place without her approval. She is not to be prevented from visiting her church to pray. Their churches are to be respected. They are neither to be prevented from repairing them nor the sacredness of their covenants. No one of the nation (Muslims) is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).”

Feet hurt.

Posted: 09/24/2010 in Uncategorized
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Just finished a ruck march. We did about 3-3.5 miles. I was in “Alpha Sustain”, which means we were the fastest non-running group, second only to the Advanced group. I was selected as a road guard for the first intersection, so sprinted up to the front. Then I got to find out that that ACU-pattern MOLLE pack they gave me at the beginning of the march wasn’t just extra weight – it was the medkit. I found this out when I had to sprint waaaaaaay back to the back of Bravo Sustain, thankfully on a false alarm (at least, he kept going). Then, catch up with Alpha, and it was Indian Run time! 😀

This was all with a ruck of about 25lb and in combat boots. All in all, a really good workout. It’s also really reassuring to look around in the group you’re in (and keeping up with) and see mostly the kevlar helmets of MS3s.

Anyway, I finished the mural design yesterday. I think it looks pretty BA, but that’s just me.

Sean (from CAP back in CO) sent me a “care package” including CDs, a Halo book, and cookies! 🙂 I think I’ll eat one now!

We did IMT/SMT (Individual Movement Techniques/Squad Movement Techniques) on Wednesday. It was fun – almost like “play Army guy” time, only we were actually learning to do the movements correctly. Afterwards, time for suicide awareness class, an Army requirement.

Immediately afterward, I rushed to Honors class – where my roommate and I were not the only team to present on our story. The other team went first, so knocking out the backstory/summary part. We went up thinking that we had about 5 minutes of information left (out of a 20m requirement) – until our discussion questions (with a boost from the professor) were so good we ran 15m over. I was rather happy with that.

Anyway, here are your quotes:

“It’s going towards infinity, looking like Mighty Mouse at slope 4!”

“We’re not too worried about penguins attacking.”

(In response to the question, “Would it be possible to go to Airborne school between my freshman and sophmore year?”)
“If most of the sophmores die, then yes.”
“Like… in a gladiator deathmatch?”

Example of “Doctrinal Terms”: “We don’t ‘take out’ zombies, we ‘engage to destroy’.”

“‘Death by Shovel’ was their motto.”

(In response to the question, “What are we doing at Lead Lab next week?”)
“Army training.”

“There is calculus going on at all moments!”

Anyway, that’s all the content I could think of – and I need to get a shower and finish my physics homework.


That’s how it burns.

Just finished PT, which was good. Did all the exercises to the limit of my ability, and moved up to Charlie in the runs. Charlie is good, it’s pushing me way harder than Delta. I need to take a shower so bad…

So over the past few days, all the clubs have been having initial meetings. I haven’t been able to attend a few, but I did get to the XMRC (Experimental Model Rocketry Club) meeting last night. They sound awesome. A bit overboard on the safety part, but I would be too. I don’t design unsafe rockets anyway, so I’m good. I’m one of 3 Aero track engineers there, all the other engineers are Astro. That fact is redeemed, however, by the fact that most of them are Firefly and/or Battlestar Galactica fans.

Cole and I put together our PowerPoint presentation for our Honors assignment. We’re supposed to provide an overview, additional background, and discussion on the Tale of the Merchant and the Jinnee from “The Arabian Nights”. It’s really interesting information, especially about the symbolism of turning evildoers into animals, from the point of view of the Qur’an. It exemplifies the PEACEFUL side of Islam.

I’ve been assigned to create a mural concept for the AROTC Cadet Office. It needs done by Friday, so I’d better get on the ball! I’m going to make an awesome-looking group of soldiers standing watch over a village, with helicopters in the background.

Now, here’s your favorite part: Quotes!
(Note: I usually do not attribute quotes to anyone, because (a) some people might not want to be directly associated with that quote, and (b) I usually can’t remember the name of whoever said it.)

The job of someone working with system controls is to “put magic in the box!”

“We were using the Sandwich Theorem – which was delicious…”

“Is that the problem with the sandwich cloud?”

“By the laws of physics – which we all know work…”

“These aren’t just regular dwarves. They’re MAGICAL dwarves!”

“and she is magically changed into a duck!”

The moral of “Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby”: “Be nice to short people.”

“Should we put dates in the story slide?” (Of our Honors presentation slide)
“Where are we going to get dates?”
“A strip club?”

(To a professor) “Ok, so I was reading that silly book you gave me…”

Random fact of the day: The vector of the Earth’s rotation is known as “Omega”.

In closing, name the movie:

和我们将为你为你主人的牧羊人。 你的手,我的脚可迅速执行你的命令的电源已经提出后裔。 使我们须提出流动一条河,你与里的灵魂多应永远。

And no, it’s not Serenity, OR Firefly.



Posted: 09/20/2010 in Uncategorized
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Please keep in mind that by “Tomorrow”, I REALLY mean “The next weekday that something interesting happens”. Which is today. Deal with it.

So, let’s start with PT, the reason for this post’s title. It was sooo good! I figured out that, given an objective AND a time limit, I can crank out a TON more reps than given just one. Plus, my theory that 2 miles would be a piece of cake after the 5 we ran last Wednesday was vindicated – so much so that I’m moving up an ability group to Charlie on Wednesday.

Last night, I was up until 3 AM. Weekends are the WRONG time to do laundry – I was not the last person to finish it, either. I made good use of the time, at least, getting all but a tiny bit of my homework done. Then I started cutting paper for my Pepakura plasma rifle.

I’ve decided that I need a better hobby than video games, so what better than Pepakura? It’s like origami for engineers. If you’ve ever made those little 3d cardstock airplanes, it’s practically the same thing, only made from a 3d CAD file, so they can be hyper-realistic. I’m making Halo armor – once the cutting and gluing are done, you fiberglass the inside, then finish and paint, and viola!

Anyway, if anyone wants to send me casting resin, elmers glue, or felt, feel free!

Or food. Food would be nice.

Quote time!

“When you graduate, you will be MAKING fabulous amounts of money, rather than SPENDING fabulous amounts of money!”

‎”I like the way my popcorn squeaks when I chew on it – it’s like I’m eating a mouse!”

“If you speak ENGLISH (as opposed to 1337 5p33k), maybe people will understand you!”

“Holy shit!” (In response to my abrupt increase in pace during elevated push-ups when given a time limit, from struggling to do one, to cranking a ton out)

“Whoever just ripped, next time, hold a lighter behind your ass, and the explosion will propel you down the road!”

Someone recently posted a comment regarding my use of profanity in this blog. I wasn’t able to get back to him/her via email (address does not exist?), so I’ll post an abbreviated version of my response here. Also a good read for those of you wondering about the same thing.

I am sure many readers would be pleased if the blog had no profanity. However, this is not an objective account of a series of events, it is the story of a section of my life, including my thoughts and opinions. Those thoughts and opinions frequently contain profanity; I filter it out as much as possible, however, occasionally the only way to get the exact emphasis I need is to use it. I cannot please everyone. If a reader is offended by this, they are not required to read the blog.

I love our Army ROTC program, and tailor my blog posts to present them in the best light possible, while remaining true to the actual events. Please keep this in mind while reading my blog – there are plenty of opinions and even actual events I leave out of my writing to avoid bringing discredit to the organization or the school if someone were to misinterpret it, as that is the last thing I want to happen.

Signing off until Tomorrow (See above definition),